A 'study' published by the Canadian Medical Association Journal indicates that free hooch may improve the health and lives of homeless alcoholics.
I'm not making this up!
Seventeen chronic alcoholics were offered a glass of wine or sherry every hour from 7am to 10pm at an Ottawa shelter over a five-month period. Three quit and three others died; however, eleven reported improved sleep, hygiene, nutrition and health.
Naturally, those reports are coming from the eleven who no longer have to worry about how and where to secure the next bottle of hooch, not from scientists or physicians.
At press time, there was no word on whether Canada would soon offer $100 bills on an hourly basis to chronic bank robbers, 14-year old girls (hey, that's their age of consent law!) to touring international sexaholic-pedophiles, or heroin to...
Wait. They do have that free heroin program. Maybe those other two ideas aren't far behind. Those silly Canadians justify all of this by suggesting they're saving more money in the long run by keeping people stoned and drunk, than by paying to scrape them up off the streets once they've tapped out or become a nuissance to the local sexaholic-pedophile tourist cash cows who demand aesthetically pleasing vacation hotspots.
So... Visit Ottawa! I hear it's nice this time of year.
I'm not making this up!
Seventeen chronic alcoholics were offered a glass of wine or sherry every hour from 7am to 10pm at an Ottawa shelter over a five-month period. Three quit and three others died; however, eleven reported improved sleep, hygiene, nutrition and health.
Naturally, those reports are coming from the eleven who no longer have to worry about how and where to secure the next bottle of hooch, not from scientists or physicians.
At press time, there was no word on whether Canada would soon offer $100 bills on an hourly basis to chronic bank robbers, 14-year old girls (hey, that's their age of consent law!) to touring international sexaholic-pedophiles, or heroin to...
Wait. They do have that free heroin program. Maybe those other two ideas aren't far behind. Those silly Canadians justify all of this by suggesting they're saving more money in the long run by keeping people stoned and drunk, than by paying to scrape them up off the streets once they've tapped out or become a nuissance to the local sexaholic-pedophile tourist cash cows who demand aesthetically pleasing vacation hotspots.
So... Visit Ottawa! I hear it's nice this time of year.
No comments:
Post a Comment